2015 is dwindling down to mere hours, and I find myself reflecting on the year, as everyone does in the tail end of a year. This year isn’t ending how I thought it would. It barely even resembles what I would have imagined a year ago today. In the beginning of 2015, if you had asked me what I thought my life would look like today, I would say that Tempi would be trialing, and we’d be kicking some major butt. Ask me the same question in May and I would have said that I would have a puppy, who would be majorly awesome, and Zippy and I would be a force to be reckoned with, and those dreams I have, the ones that are almost too scary to talk about, would seem close, and they would be much more tangible than ever before.
So this year isn’t ending how I thought it would be. I think that its really easy to focus on everything this year wasn’t, as opposed to everything it was. Zippy and I made the EOJ team, and held our own in an international competition, that’s pretty damn cool. We won Junior Invitationals, again, pretty damn cool.
I accomplished so many goals this year, goals that I didn’t even knew I had. I became a much better dog trainer, I became a better friend, I became a stronger, more mature person. I’m choosing to focus on that.
2015 will most likely be the end of Caper’s agility career. That was a hard pill to swallow, because as frustrating as he could be, he is my Caper, he started this whole journey, and I owe everything to him. I’m still holding out on one final jumpers run to be his “retirement run” because he never got a MACH so he deserves that. He deserves so much more, but at least I can give him a fun retirement run. We’ll see.
I made an end of the year video, and I debated a lot on whether or not to add pictures and videos of Check. He was a really big part of my year, and I don’t think it would have been right to avoid him. He taught me so much, and for that I am truly grateful. I miss him more lately, some of the videos made me sad, but those days are fewer and farther between now.
On Christmas, we were sitting on the couch, and BC puppies came up on my timeline. Of course I showed them to my mom because who doesn’t love puppy pictures. My dad made a comment along the lines of, “You’re not getting another puppy are you? Because you’re 0 for 2 in that department.” That knocked the wind right out of me. He wasn’t trying to be mean, or hurtful in any way. He doesn’t really get the whole dog thing, and that’s okay. But in that moment I couldn’t help but break down and cry. He has a point, and right now, those dreams, the ones that sometimes can be too scary to say out loud for fear they won’t come true? They seem farther away than they ever have before. That’s a really scary thought. I’m choosing not to look at it that way. Every dog I have had, and that I have had the honor to train has taught me so many things. Things that I will be able to bring to my next puppy, whenever that may be. So although those dreams still seem so far away, I’m making progress everyday.
I’ve decided not to make any resolutions for this year. If I’ve learned anything in the past year, its that you never know how things might change. So, I’m not making resolutions, not out of fear of failure, but because I could be in a totally new position that I could have never imagine sitting on my couch on December 31st.
I have no idea what my next steps are, or where I’ll be in 365 days, but I’m not stressing out about it. I’m ready to go along for the ride.
My End of the Year video. (This only took me 4 hours. I’m never playing with iMovie ever again.)